Pharmacy school is for the birds

Most days I am able to tolerate the terrible schedule of the pharmacy, the lack of a summer, the fact that Grundy is no where near where I want to go, and even the fact that Justin is in possession of approximately 10 trees in the form of notes. But the worst thing of all is that they have sent Justin 2 hours away to do a 3-week rotation when there are plenty of options within normal commute times from our house. I say the "worst thing of all" simple because it is issue at hand, a month ago the worst thing of all was 4 finals in one week.

I don't like putting the kids to bed by myself. I don't like them asking me if their dad is going to be back in the morning, I don't like sleeping in an empty bed. I don't like the lack of bass solos playing in the house. And believe it or not I don't like pity parties, but sometimes they can't be avoided (in case you were wondering, this is one of those times).

I don't notice how lonely I am for him until the kids are in the bed and I realize just how quiet it is in the house. The only advantage is that I can let Nathan or Natalie sleep in the bed with me, I loved it when one of my parents were out of town so that I could sleep in the bed with the other. I know its odd but somehow sleeping in the bed with one of my parents made me feel strangely independent. As much fun as it is to cuddle with a 7 year old, it’s not the same as laying my head on my hub's shoulder.

I keep forgetting to drink coffee. I love coffee but it never seems to enter my mind until I am about to lose my temper because my head is splitting from the lack of caffeine.  I am enough of a caffeine addict to need it, but just barely so that I don't think about it until its 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I am super cranky.

I don't really feel like I am one of those people whose world revolves around their spouse, but since he is gone I have had absolutely no motivation to do anything. I have an enormous pile of clean clothes that need to be folded and an equally large pile of dirty ones and the couch is covered with slightly smaller versions of normal instruments. I have emails that need to be sent and phone calls that need to be made but I don't want to do anything. You don't think about how influential you spouse is until they aren't around. All I can think of is that song by Colbie Caillet, "I miss everything about you".

So to sum everything up, pharmacy school ruins EVERYTHING!!

The episode of the chipmunk

How do you get to the point where you are standing out by the truck in the middle of the night playing hawk cries on the phone hoping to scare a rodent out of your vehicle? Allow me to enlighten you. It begins when you combine a girl from irrational/impractical family, with a boy from a family that plans everything to a T. You get a massive clash that can lead to crazy thing.
While visiting Merritt (my sister), I went to look at her kittens that are just beginning to stir and venture out of the box. Bethany (my other sister) goes to put the kittens back in the box and realizes that Jasmine (the mommy cat) has got something... a chipmunk. When we finally get the chipmunk free we realize that it is in shock. There are no obvious signs of injury but it is nearly frozen and is alternating between extremely rapid breathing and long gaps with no respiration.
Let me back up to say that I am not one of those crazy people who places the livelihood of animals above that of human beings. I love animals but I also recognize their importance as being below people. With that being said my heart lept within me!! I have always wanted a pet chipmunk. I think it is because they remind me of what I would be like if I were an animal. You never see them sit still and they look like they have so much fun jumping down the road at a pace that seems nearly impossible for their 3in long body. Their tails are always pointing straight up (as a gymnastics coach I like things to be tight) and their ears are almost perfectly round... they are way too cute.
So here I was determined to save this chipmunks life and keep it as my pet. I made a bed for it in a basket my mom brought back from somewhere over seas. And gather things that I think a chipmunk would eat, this included a dried apricot, pecan and frosted mini wheat. I decide to keep it in the truck while we went to eat, hoping that the calmness would help it to come of shock. And boy did it work.
We come back out to the truck only to find the basket empty and the chipmunk hiding under the seat. This chipmunk was smart, not only did it realize how difficult it would be to catch it under the seat, it figured out that it could climb INTO the seat and never be caught, and that is exactly what happened. When I got home I spent 30 minutes trying to get it to come out, trying to figure out a way to stick my hand into the seat and hoping that I did not get some strange infection from a tiny rodent. It did not work.  I could not find it. I decide to leave the doors open knowing that Justin will not like the idea that I brought a chipmunk home to be my pet. I went inside for about 2 hours and assumed that the chipmunk has escaped to freedom. And for 2 days I go on with this assumption, but then Justin sees the chipmunk and I see the foam that is now falling out from under the seat.
It took us leaving the door open for hours in time spread out throughout the next 2 days before it would come out. But then I think it got used to living indoors and not having to worry about any actual predators. It was back in the wild for about 5 hours before Fluzy (my part coyote dog) killed it and left it for us to find in the garage.
So the moral of this story is if you want a pet chipmunk make sure you have a cage not a basket and keep all wild (and domestic) animals away from it.

Passion

Gymnastics... what can I say? Most people don't let a sport effect their life so much. Gymnastics has truly shaped who I am. For me it is more than a sport (cheesy right?), it was and is one of my biggest passions. I literally packed up and left my home for gymnastics. I have a hard time not relating everything to gymnastics. Justin and I start out talking about music, or some other completely unrelated subject and almost inevitably I make some comment like "that is exactly like how in gymnastics...". It has changed the way I think about so many things. I still can't watch it on tv without getting in the floor to hold my splits or going and working out as soon as the competition is over (sometimes I have to pause it and come back after my workout).

I still remember the first time I saw Natalie do a cartwheel, my heart leapt a little inside. I could tell it was easy for her. I could see the potential in a kindergardener. Since that day, I have been devising ways to push her without pushing her away. Its a very fine line since she is already at the gym almost everyday with me. I don't want her to begrudge the sport. I don't know when I should make her practice as opposed to letting her play. I don't know how to give her that drive that came so easily for me.

Lately I have been trying a new technique, I have been showing her videos of girls her age who are awesome at gymnastics. Basically, I have been manipulating her into wanting to practice (why yes, I am an evil genius), but I have found that if it is her idea, or if she thinks it is her idea, she does much better.

In a world that is becoming more apathetic by the generation, it is really exciting to see passion. Even if that passion is for something that does not stir my heart. I rejoice when I see a young person that is passionate about something that can add to their life. Furthermore, when it is something that I am passionate about, it is hard to contain the excitement that is inside me. I hope that she will develop passion in gymnastics for two reasons; gymnastics is an excellent thing to get passionate about, but also having passion in one area can affect every other aspect of your life.

Here is an example of what she can do when she gets just a little passion:

Most families follow norm in the way they transition from husband and wife to parents. The traditional path is to get married, then wait an appropriate amount of time (generally at least 9 months), and then have a baby. But not us, we don't like to do things the easy/normal way. We laughed at tradition when we said "what the heck, lets adopt twin 7 year olds who have experienced more cruelty in their life than we can even imagine. Lets skip all the steps and jump straight into the role of parenting elementary school students." By far the craziest thing we have ever done... but also the best.
Its amazing how quickly your motherly instincts kick in. I was always one of those people that could sleep through nearly anything, but it is astonishing how quickly you wake up to a cry,  a door slamming, or a 7 year old standing 2 inches from your face in pitch black darkness. I had no idea how easy it would become to distinguish the sound of someone jumping verses falling out of bed.
I never knew how much fun it was to go Christmas shopping or sneak in at night as the "Tooth Hippo" (as you are probably learning, we don't like to follow tradition). I understand how so many people lose their mind, but cannot wrap my brain around the fact that someone would allow their children to be taken away from them.
Time does not hold the same value it did before I was a mom. 10 minutes used to be enough time to run into the grocery store, pick up the necessities for a meal, and be on my way. Now, this looks more like (at least) a 30 minute stop requiring enough patience to turn around 15 times and say "keep up" or "no we cannot get a 3 liter of orange soda ". Loads of laundry and grocery bills did not double because the size of our family did, they increased exponentially.
These days, I am getting a little more acquainted with waking at 7 am every day of the week and being home by 8:30 to prepare for bedtime. I frequently summit laundry mountains, yet never conquer it. I have cleaned toothpaste from the sink more times than I understand. I only hope I can develop tolerance to the smell of throw up or the fact that the toilets never get flushed. All in all, parenting has given me a completely new set a challenges,  but a kiss goodnight from a couple of 7 year olds make it all worth while.